Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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