What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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