I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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