i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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