Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
