Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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