Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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