Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I AM VODKA MAN
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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