Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
