do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
