Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
