I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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