it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
