You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize