the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
