My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
