I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
