Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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