Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
