Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
