He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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