Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
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there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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