I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
