im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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