she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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