Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
