maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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