found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
