he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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