Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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