I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
