Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
