Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
