can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
