I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
