Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
