Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize