after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You can't just leave with hair like that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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