your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
