Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
