If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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