What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
