so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
