Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
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I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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