he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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