Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
