I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"