Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.

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  (918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama. (515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott. http://tfl.nu/z2im
  Replies (121) Good night (1836) Bad night (1555)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.

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  (708): Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot. http://tfl.nu/16kw
  Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month

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  (847): This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year (847): And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month http://tfl.nu/rprb
  Replies (91) Good night (778) Bad night (3230)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1760) Bad night (8836)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4734) Bad night (3133)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.

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  (509): The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's. http://tfl.nu/3lzb
  Replies (16) Good night (848) Bad night (4780)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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  (636): I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high http://tfl.nu/wyfj
  Replies (16) Good night (4751) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

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  (281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a
  Replies (27) Good night (3277) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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  (517): This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/9rmg
  Replies (5) Good night (1596) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did

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  (610): You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did http://tfl.nu/pssp
  Replies (3) Good night (1436) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls

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  (267): I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls http://tfl.nu/tagh
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.

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  (630): She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love. http://tfl.nu/5dr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1762) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself

  (760): View more from California

  Though I typed a half of that one

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  (760): Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself (760): Though I typed a half of that one http://tfl.nu/upbv
  Replies (7) Good night (867) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.

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  (941): i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win. http://tfl.nu/m2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit

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  (570): He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit http://tfl.nu/6cf1
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (296)

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