Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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