i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
