A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
whose parrot is this?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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