well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
