i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
