How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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