If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
