Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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