so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
