Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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