why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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