how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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